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BBC journalist

My mother in law hates the BBC news. She says they are biased and negative. I never really understood how anyone could have such a relationship with a television channel but after this, I agree…

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A Journalist of the BBC, (I won’t mention their name lets just call them Arseface) has written an article about the latest Pride parade in London.
At this parade there was a float designed to promote the new film ‘Absolutely Fabulous the movie). The float was a project of 20th century fox and sponsored by drinks company Stoli vodka who I’m sure you would agree are both very large and important companies.
I am director of our family run company ‘Bigstuff Design Ltd’. We specialise in PR stunts, large scale creative displays and unique applications and fabrications. Our capabilities span from the install of a large Christmas exterior display for Harrods to a ‘Game of Thrones’ style throne built out of nothing other than black rubber dildos.
We were approached by 20th century fox to build this float and we gladly accepted.
We were involved with the design of the float and traded designs back and forth with both companies for about 7 weeks before finally making a start on the complex build.
As much as we enjoyed the challenge this was not a straight forward project. The float needed to hold over a dozen oversized props as as well as having a catwalk six foot in the air and strong enough to hold up to 16 stiletto wearing drag queens, one of which danced in a large martini glass.

The lower part of the structure housed 1.5 tonnes of generator and sound equipment, a hidden flight of stairs, a DJ booth which was also a giant pair of lips smoking a giant cigarette and a large ashtray full of fag butts.
The oversized props included 2 handbags, 2 cocktail glasses, 2 perfume bottles, 2 lipsticks, a giant 6ft tall gold glittered stiletto and a martini glass dancing podium.
The entire structure was clad in plush pink and white branding with gold glittered trim. This was to be pulled by a logo emblazoned black cab which due to weight restrictions, had to be changed last minute for an equally branded Range Rover. Both vehicles carried another two 7ft vodka bottles on their roof and both subsequently ended up in the procession. During the build we made a majority of the props in house as well as using our large network of skilled companies to help us meet our deadline.
The float was a success and swept across social media as well as making it into all the top newspapers and news channels, well done us.

I hope by now I have explained just how big a deal this project was.

The following day I read an article written by Arseface the BBC journalist which truly was a magnificent demonstration of his amazing journalism skills and talents. The detail in his writing was very Tolkien’esk.
This is what he wrote…

“…the biggest star of the show was the absolutely fabulous entry, a bus with a big shoe and a lipstick on it.”

YOU FUCKING TWAT!

I have cleverly written a letter to Arseface which reads,

“Dear BBC Journalist,
YOU FUCKING TWAT!
Lots of love,
The guy who put a shoe on a bus once.

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