Is using the cash point really that hard?
I have been standing here behind you, looking at the back of your stupid head for far too long.
I could tell by your nervous posture that this was going to be a long wait, so why I still chose to queue behind you I don’t know.
Staring blankly into the small screen as though it only displayed some form of advanced alien binary code.
All you have to do is put your card in the allocated slot…. It’s the one with a picture of a card very similar to yours next to it.
It even has an arrow demonstrating which way to insert it, so the first 4 attempts you had were ridiculously un-necessary.
Although I’m not intentionally looking over your shoulder, I can see the screen and can tell it’s not written in Mandarin, so the 4 options available really should not be that hard.
Do you want cash? Check your balance? Print a mini statement? Or change your pin number?
It is not asking whether you would rather have willys as fingers of a finger for a willy, so please just push one of the buttons before I reach over your shoulder and select one for you.

I haven’t timed myself using an ATM before but as a guess, it shouldn’t take longer than 30 seconds or less, so what the hell are you doing on there? Transferring a sum of 12 million pounds equally over 21 off shore accounts is not one of the options and seeing as this is not an option, there is no possible reason for you to be taking this long.
I wish I had a big rubber stamp that said ‘DUNCE’ to slap against your forehead in a bid to warn other normal people not to stand behind you at a cashpoint or any other electrical device.

It’s not just ATM’s this sort of behaviour occurs either.
My dad can do any maths in his head, he doesn’t even think about it; he can’t explain how he gets the answers but he gets them.
He has an IQ 4 times greater than mine but he can’t send a text message, everything about the process causes his brain to slightly hurt.
Now I understand my father’s generation grew up without mobile phones but I grew up without the internet and my life continues even after its arrival.
At first it was confusing but then it wasn’t, THE END.

Self service checkouts are no one’s favourite thing but they can be quicker as long as ‘dunce’ head isn’t in front of you, and we use them.
The first time we use them they were a bit alien but then they weren’t so we continued living our lives with them in it.
You can usually tell if the person in front of you at a self service is going to struggle by their body language.
In Tesco, there is usually a member of staff there purely to help and assist customers in using these fast check outs, but wouldn’t it make more sense to have them use their common sense and send the incapable people packing.
“Excuse me sir, I don’t think so… go on, off you go to the back of queue over there where you won’t need to touch any buttons?”
Either that or let them use the self checkouts but if they are there longer than the allocated time slot they get branded by a big guy in a high vis jacket by his big red rubber stamp. ‘DUNCE’

One thought on “Tech-NO-phobic

  1. Happened to us in Chelmsford at the weekend! How is it that I always end up picking the longest queue, even though on paper it should be the shortest one?

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